From time to time, readers and friends of this blog submit items for inclusion and I welcome them. If you have an item to contribute, please send it to info@secretan.com. This contribution comes from Ron Mandel, my friend and a member of the faculty of the Secretan Center.

What do golf, a board room, and the factory floor have in common? A lot more than meets the eye according to the ancient mystical teachings of Kabbalah. They can all be places of frustration or places of fulfillment, depending on how we approach them. Kabbalah explains that the human soul craves the feeling that accomplishment brings and attracts situations that have the potential to provide that fulfillment. However, because we all have free will, the choice to find that euphoric feeling or become frustrated, is really up to each person.

Golf helps us understand an underlying principle of lasting fulfillment that it has to be earned to have meaning. Think about it: if the hole on the green was 1 foot in diameter and the distance from the tee to the hole was 100 feet, it would be too easy to achieve par or get a hole in one. And the result is we’d get bored. If we were designing a golf course, we’d add obstacles everywhere – we’d place sand traps in inconvenient places, add a cluster of trees to block the approach to the green, and strategically place a pond somewhere that will psych out the golfer. We might go so far as to put the green on an island in the ocean just to provide a challenge. The secret is that all these difficulties make the achievement of a good score all the sweeter. In fact, it’s facing the obstacles and overcoming them that makes the game so rewarding and so frustrating when we don’t handle the challenges well.

Instinctively, we know that a real sense of accomplishment doesn’t come by playing well on a miniature golf course because it’s just too easy. Children understand this; imagine that a soccer player scores his first goal. How would he feel? Elated, of course! If however, on the way back to the dressing room, he overhears his father thanking the goalie on the other team for letting the goal in, how would he feel then? We know that he’d be deflated and upset because the joy of scoring a an undeserved goal isn’t real.

So how does this concept of earning our fulfillment play out in business? Unlike our infrequent visits to the golf course or a soccer field, we’re at work 5 or more days a week and close to 50 weeks a year. The obstacles we face there can appear to be a huge burden. However, if we see obstacles as a test that is set up for us to overcome and from which we can grow, then we can look forward to them in the same way that we look forward to our next golf game.

There is one caveat. If you are frustrated by consistently shanking a ball off a tee, further practice just might perfect that wild swing and improve your ability for putting the ball in the ruff. It helps when we learn a new swing (through an instructional DVD or an effective coach) – this is how we improve in hitting the ball correctly. So too, in dealing with a challenging employee, whether they are a colleague, boss, or direct report, discovering why you get hooked by that person and how to get unhooked is very liberating. Learning to unravel and better handle our life’s challenges, whether they come to us on the shop floor, in the office, or at home, leads to growth and fulfillment which is what life is really all about!