40 years ago, I made two decisions that have shaped my life:
I refused to go to any movies where gratuitous violence (or violence of any form) was part of the script, and,
I gave up my TV and have not owned one since. The second choice was made to support the first one. (This year I relented and bought a TV for the first time in four decades so that I can watch the Olympics, elections and other interesting and life-affirming options).
I have learned that violence, in all its forms, weakens my capacity to do good in the world. We are what we think, and if violence is part of who I am, then violence is part of what I will share with others, I do not wish to do that.
To be clear, I’m not naïve, and I don’t hide my head in the sand. I know violence is present in many geographies and aspects of our lives, but I don’t have to live in it. I understand the horrors of the world and I choose not to be part of them. When the terrorist attacks on the World Trade Center occurred, I was running a retreat in a state park in Ohio. We offered the 40 participants the opportunity to end the retreat and go home but they chose to stay because they said it was more inspiring than re-entering a world of violence. After the retreat was completed, I found myself marooned there for a week because there were no airplanes flying. I think I saw the image of planes flying into the twin towers 50 times before I realized that I was damaging myself with the repetitive toxic experience. I understood the horrendous nature of the catastrophe but I didn’t feel any need to keep seeing it repeated every 30 minutes.
According to Comscore, over the last decade, PG-13 movies have grossed $54.6 billion, PG movies earned $24.3 billion, R movies, $26.5 billion, and G movies, $2.7 billion. So, the question is, “Are we addicted to violence?”. Or does our media manipulate us and cause the addiction? Can we make alternative choices, and if we did, would we change the world? Would humanity evolve if we chose love over fear and violence?
What do you think? Please post your thoughts in our comments section.
What if this violence portrayed in movies and TV which in turn is bringing up damaging and toxic feelings is bringing them up for the purpose of “leaving (from within) us”? … once left, the trigger given the label of addiction is gonzo!
Len, I agree with you in theory. But in practice, it seems to go the other way. The more violence we witness in society, the more it seems to escalate. For example, gun sales – 23 million guns were purchased in 2020, according to Small Arms Analytics, a consulting firm based in Greenville, South Carolina. That’s a 65% increase compared with 2019, when 13.9 million guns were sold, according to Small Arms Analytics. In March 2021, another record for gun sales was broken – 4.7 million firearms were sold in that month alone. Are violence and fear the same coin, just different sides?
Love is always a win. Innovation and imagination in a social setting instead of violent computer and phone games played by today’s youth may result in a better more loving future world.
That’s a great idea Bruce. It feels a bit like a Gordian Knott. What steps would you like to see taken that would address, and perhaps even reverse this problem?
Reading this blog brings back very powerful and emotional memories. I was with Lance on 9/11 at the retreat he referenced when the attacks on the World trade Center occurred.
I was leading a health system that engaged Lance and his team to teach and infuse the concepts of higher ground leadership into the culture of our organization. This was the sixth of 30+ similar week long retreats (Lance led the 8 and then handed the reins over to our internal team).
That morning when the second plane hit the WTC, like everyone else we realized this was a terrorist attack and felt we needed to end the retreat on day 3 to send everyone home to be with their loved ones. We gathered for what we thought would be the closing ceremony when we received the group’s surprising decision. The attendees unanimously voiced their announcement in words I will never forget – – “We want to stay for the rest of the week — we need these principles now more than ever”. They intuitively and spontaneously concluded that qualities being modeled that week by Lance: Courage, Authenticity, Service, Truth-telling, Love, Effectiveness — were what would be needed to inspire their families, associates, friends, and themselves when they returned.
So we stayed together for the remaining 4 days to conclude a very memorable experience together.
To this day I regard the group’s decision as the most dramatic positive testimony to the power, attraction, magnetism, and inspiration of the principles of Higher Ground Leadership.
Well, of course, your comment added to the memories, Joe. What an amazing partner you were on this journey and, together, what a huge impact we had on people’s lives. This experience will inspire me for the rest of my life! Namaste!
It is a powerful commitment to refuse to watch violent movies, and very inspiring. My own personal development started back in the 1980s reading ‘The Krishnamurti Reader’ which caused me to look at the sources of violence in me, and I committed to stop watching football or the news for many years. I know that helped me, although I did decide to step back into the world of news after a 5 year abstinence! This is a slightly dated, but brilliant video of Krishnamurti from 1981 on the topic of violence. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LIurRT7zrWE
This is fabulous Stewart – thanks for sharing this.
This is such a beautiful and inspiring story. The CASTLE principles, when implemented and used on a daily basis, allow you to come from a much deeper place. It really does take courage to step into the uncomfortable, to allow your authentic self to be present, to be vulnerable, and put yourself out there when you have no idea what the outcome will be. It seems counter-intuitive, but living from a space of love instead of judgement and violence is so much harder. However, learning to live from a space of love allows you to tap into opportunities and possibilities that didn’t seem to exist.
Kerri, I was being interviewed the other day and the interviewer asked me what was the hardest thing that leaders need to do, especially in the context of diversity and inclusion, and when I responded, he was “gobsmacked” as the Brits would say. I said, “The thing most leaders have the most trouble with is to say just three small words: “I love you”. I think he was expecting a long erudite response, instead of a short one!
Lance,
Truth telling and to live in love let’s me be me. I have the courage to be of service to others the way they need to be heard and loved.
Your work and writing inspires me each day as I draw my Spirit Work Card. Today is Kaizen which really fits where I am today.
Beautiful, Nancy! Kaizen – helping us evolve in small increments every single day – what,, or how, will you grow just that little bit today?