I read recently that legendary basketball star, Michael Jordan, once said, “I’ve missed more than 9,000 shots in my career. I’ve lost almost 300 games. Twenty-six times I’ve been trusted with the game-winning shot and missed. I’ve failed over and over and over again in my life. And that is why I succeed.”
When we fail we have two choices,
- We can complain about how unfair the world is and play the role of victim, or
- We can ask, “What am I meant to learn from this? What is the message? How can I use this to help me grow?
When someone presents us with an opinion with which we disagree, or judges us harshly, we have the same two choices: complain and play the hurt victim (our wounded ego speaking), or pause and seek the hidden insight behind the remarks.
Carl Jung once said, “Thinking is difficult. That’s why people judge.”
Do you choose to learn from your failures? Or do you choose to judge yourself for failing? When you are criticized or faced with an opinion with which you disagree, does your ego cause you to push back and defend your position, or do you say, “Tell me more, I want to learn”? The difference is between an open mindset and a closed one; between being a “knower” versus a “learner”.
Are you a knower or a learner?
Good morning Lance.
I am a bit of both. Mostly I am a learner. If a judgement seems to have a zing to it, the only way out of the blues is to learn from it. When I do that I feel the energy gradually shift within. Learning is always a good feeling. Learning doesn’t have an end point. Knowing has an end point unless a person chooses to expand on the knowing and transform it to learning again. I love learning.
This sounds like yin and yang, Marie, and the perfect balance between knowing what you know, as well as knowing what youm DON’T know? Most people skew towards being a knower and would become more inspired if they learned new things and ideas that lifted their spirits.
Dear Lance, Just touching base – I worked for you a long time ago when you were Head of Manpower. I was collected daily from London and taken down to your office and I worked on some of your projects and typed out your thesis. I have very warm memories of that experience; I wish I could have had such inspirational leadership from later bosses! I was nominated for the Manpower temp of the year because of that project, and was awarded my prize at the Evening Standard’s televised Award ceremony. I had a dreadful hangover the next morning which was bad as I had to get a ferry to France to go to a family wedding… Resilience is so important, as I know you would agree!. I am still in central London and it is such a pleasure to follow your work. with warmest wishes Noelle
Well, Noelle! What an amazing and delightful surprise! A voice from nearly 50 years ago! I wrote a book in the 80’s called Managerial Moxie which described the unprecedented explosion of growth over 14 years – it was a magical time and a life-changing experience for so many people, including me. I hope you will stay in touch and share your news when you have time.